Soul mates

What is a soul mate? Some believe a soul mate is the one special individual that each person is meant to find and love. Upon finding them all pieces of your life fall into place leaving only peace, harmony, and happiness to forever reign. This sounds nice and for some it may even be their reality since we all create our own realities based on our perceptions, needs, and desires. My soul mate reality is a bit different. My soul mate can be as cantankerous and as moody as I can be. We bicker more frequently than not and both have large ego's that cause us to debate issues as mundane as socks in the dryer and what to do with the hand me down couch in the basement. The name of the game is to outwit the other and win the argument, ceding means you lose at our house. If this all sounds pretty juvenile to you, congratulations, you must be part of the former soul mate crowd and probably have a more peaceful existence than I do. However, I happen to enjoy my reality because, though we are both infantile and incorrigible at times, we are also learning how to grow up, gain awareness, and live more consciously.  We are constantly using our marriage as a stepping point to build on our own strengths and weaknesses, bring awareness to one another, and grow as individuals. We try hard to fight fair in front our our daughter; when we fail at this we apologize, talk to her, and move on. Often the people who bring out the worst parts of ourselves also help to shed light into all the dark corners of our psyches. It is only then, when we can see ourselves clearly, that we become who we are meant to be. Without my cantankerous soul mate I would not have an adequate supply of ego goading to free my imprisoned soul.     

"Mommy play with me"

Last night I began the inner dialogue of criticism that sometimes occurs as I run the day's events over in my mind. I felt bad as I recalled myself saying no to several requests from my daughter to join her in playing some game or being part of an activity that was deemed exciting at the moment. As a full-time mom (not stay at home mom, I do leave the house) it can be easy to feel that the amount of time and energy in itself spent daily with my daughter is sufficient. It can become convenient to get lost in the daily schedules and activities that lead to her ultimate fulfillment and not have the time to sit down and get lost in an imaginary game or be dragged out into the backyard to chase her in circles. Let's be honest, the childhood games while often moments of pure bliss and unequivocal joy can also become tedious at times especially when they invoke the guilt of saying "not now." The sobering thought is this, very soon in a future that seems far off now but will arrive much too soon, my daughter will be busy with a life and friends that in no way involve me. Gone will be the requests that I join her in the simple moments of life; I will likely be an afterthought and certainly not the first person she thinks of to include in an experience. So, rather than entertain the guilt mongering thoughts for long last night, I simply noted my revelation and made a mental plan to say yes instead of no each time she asked me to play the next day. Two days from now she may have more independent play, but for tomorrow I will enjoy and cherish each moment.